“And that was right before i turned 24”

Turned 21. Again. 

Quit smoking. Again.  

Chewed more green 5 gum than I knew possible. 

Fell in love with being strong mentally. 

Gia. Just Gia. 

Fell in love, but not really. 

Cried an awful lot for a girl who doesn’t cry. 

Watched it burn — felt it. I’m not afraid to play with fire. I’m somewhat comforted by the burn — its warmth.  

Justin Bieber album … twice. 

Quit sugar and celebrated with licorice. 

Black hair. 

Reiki. 

Cold plunge. Like. 5 minutes in the ice type of cold plunge. Who knew I liked the ‘pins and needles” feeling. 

Got off the hook a few speeding tickets.  

Black coffee.

“Right is hard to find but wrong is easy to identify”

Photographed almost every sunset and sunrise. 

Started meal prepping. 

Hot Pilates. 

No more lash extensions.  

Fell in love with being strong physically. 

Lost my absolute sanity.

Bullied myself then apologized with a workout.  

Attachment switch. 

Fell in love but this time with myself.  

Building a body that has yet to be touched. I feel whole knowing no one holds pieces of me. 

Affirmation —to be read before bed. “Release and Clear”. Thank you to the nice older gentleman at the gym for passing this on to me. I swore he was an angel. He says 21 days in a row will re wire your thought process. I’ve yet to achieve that streak. 

5 am gym crowd. 

31 days of cold showers in October. Yes, the ‘everything’ ones too.

Espresso shots. 

Tried out digestive enzymes. Hot girls have tummy aches. Hot moms have heartburn. 

Upped the espresso shots. I’m not an addict.  

Completed my apprenticeship to practice the career my elementary school self said I would. 

I can physically feel my frontal lobe developing. 

Learning the art of practicing consistency. There’s beauty in repetition. Predictability. Peace.

I don’t like the smell of “black ice” little trees anymore. 

Endorphins. Fucking endorphins. 

Late morning gym crowd. Sometimes evening. 

“Was it someone you care about?” “Unfortunately I care about everyone.”

Cried at pre school drop off.

Finally believe that I’m a great mommy.  

Invisible string theory ?? Put a pin in that. 

Stopped caring so much about everyone and more about me. 

My best friend is having a BABY. I’m so excited for the world to have more of her DNA in it. 

Cut the string, never pull it. 

Dinner w a friend from ten years ago bringing parts of me to life I didn’t know were still there. 

Burnout.  

Figured out how to hard reset myself and did it about 7 times.   

Hair blacker. 

Silver jewelry is so my vibe. 

Fell asleep crying. “What is wrong with me, God. Why am I made this way?’

Woken up reminded what is right with me. 

I’m not doing as well as i once was. 

More cold showers. Shock to reset. 

“Drive safe” in unison from friends who I love — and they love me. Angels go where they’re called upon. 

Still chasing the 21 day “release and clear” streak. 

Back to 5 am gym crowd. 

Genuinely thrilled about new cookware that matches my kitchen. It’s so new my food is slipping and the square one fits my eggs and bacon at the same time. 

Maison Margiela Jazz Club. 

I think I’m getting old but I’m soo 16. Front seat of my best friend’s Honda Civic singing my heart out. 

When did I stop kissing my mom on the lips and hate going out ? 

Kissed my daughter, a lot. “How do you not just eat her up?” oh. i do. 

Took a deep breath or 50. 

Maybe I am worth showing up for. 

Burger — add a fried egg. 

Goodnight kisses on the precious spots, not the sexy ones. 

Tossed. Turned. 

And that was right before I turned 24.